Little Bird
by neveragainjgk
Summary: A compilation of Hermione/Draco one-shots. Not everything goes the way it should. Sometimes a little OOC, but I work with what I have.
1. Little Bird

_Author's Note: This is a very real conversation that I needed to write down somewhere. I figured it's safe here._

Hermione sat on the edge of the rusting chair that filled up most of the patio of the apartment room she had rented while at university for her post-potions-apprentice study. She lit a cigarette and took a long drag, a habit she had picked up while traveling in the United States a few months ago, and held it precariously between her fingers as her mind drifted. She bent one leg up, hugging her knee to her chest, and was startled by the sudden vibration in her pocket. The number that showed on the LCD screen was not one that her phone recognized, yet she answered anyway.

"Hermione." She said quietly, taking another drag.

"You looked good today, " A male voice answered. "I'm almost glad I transferred."

Hermione dropped her cigarette.

"Draco." She inhaled slowly and abandoned the cigarette on the ground where it had fallen, emitting tendrils of smoke. "I..um. Thanks, I guess."

"You guess?" Hermione could practically see Draco on the other end of the phone, eyes narrowed and fingers taping impatiently against his leg. "Oh, I try to be friendly..."

"It's hard to be friendly back when you talk to someone selectively," Hermione interrupted. She could hear Draco's exasperated sigh on the other end.

"Does it really matter that much to you?"

"No, not really," She lied.

"Well then what do you care about? I'm saying I was checking you out." She pictured the smirk on his face as he said those words.

"I meant the thanks."

"Mmmmm."

Hermione laughed, a forced sound. "I would respond if I knew what that meant. You're always so cryptic. I never know how you mean things when you say them."

There was a pause, and Hermione pulled another cigarette from a pack resting on the arm of her chair.

"So," Draco broke the silence. "How are you."

"I'm fine." Another lie. "No, actually, I feel terrible. But I'll just say I'm fine." She exhaled and watched the smoke drift out through the black iron railings.

"What's wrong?"

"Things. People. Thoughts."

Now it was Draco's turn to laugh. "Like WHAT? You're so abstract."

Hermione smiled emptily, staring off into space. "That's rich, coming from you." She stopped, took a drag. "I don't know how to explain it."

"How do you feel about me." The question caught her totally off guard, and she answered honestly.

"Confused, angry, impatient. Sad." She grew quiet. "Hopeful."

"Wow, didn't know I invoked such an emotional rollercoaster," Draco drawled, sounding vaguely amused. "Is there anything I can do?"

Hermione scoffed. "Is there anything you WOULD do?"

His answer surprised her. "Yes."

"Like what?" She countered.

"I don't know," He admitted. "Ask me."

Hermione closed her eyes and willed away the question she wanted the answer to the most, instead opting for an escape. "Fuck, I don't even know what I _want_. To be wanted?"

He was quiet, then, "Like, as a girlfriend?"

Hermione smiled sadly. "That's being optimistic." She inhaled deeply, closing her eyes and savoring the buzz. "I have a question."

"Okay, shoot me!" Draco answered cheerfully. "Err, I mean, yeah."

"Sometimes I wish I could..." Hermione muttered. "Well. What is it that you want..wanted from me?" She bit her lip, not sure she wanted to hear the way he would answer.

When he did, he sounded hesitant. "For a while I wanted to date you, and then it just faded. It went from dating to being fuck buddies, then friends. Now I don't want anything to do with you."

Hermione shut her eyes tightly as the words tore through her.

"So if you want nothing to do with me, why talk to me? What's the exception?" She tried to keep her voice steady, blinking back tears.

"I'm trying to find out if my mind wants anything to do with you. You've noticed I'm very...touchy feely." He said the words with distaste.

"Yeah, I've noticed," Hermione muttered darkly.

"It's the way I do things," He explained. "Like...It's how I recognize people, how I get on a common ground with them. It's...hard to explain." She could imagine his face, screwed up in concentration.

"No, I understand." She said quietly. "I'm the opposite, though. I watch people. I hate being touched."

"I LOVE being touched!" Draco sounded shocked. "It gives me so much more than looks or anything of that sort." He paused. "Why do you hate it?"

Hermione grew quiet. "I'm afraid. I'm afraid I'll get too attached, and they'll leave."

"Oh..." Draco said softly. "That's...sad."

Hermione angrily wiped away tears that had managed to escape from the corners of her eyes. "I got attached anyway," She whispered. "And they always left."

Draco didn't know how to respond. "I'm sorry." He said finally.

Hermione sat quietly for a few moments, hugging her knee to her chest still, and cradling the phone between her ear and shoulder. She lit another cigarette.

"That's why I hate being touched." She repeated. "Because it reminds me that once someone wanted me, and now they don't."

She heard Draco wince. "You make it sound so bad."

She laughed, a hollow sound. "It is." She inhaled, trying to get as much of a high as she could. "I feel like a bird that gets stuck inside, " She began quietly, "that panics because it can't find a way out, and flutters around hopelessly, beating itself against walls until it just...dies." She trailed off. "I just need to stop."

She could almost see Draco smiling sadly.

"Somehow, little bird, I don't think that's going to happen."

_Thank you for reading. Reviews are always welcome. _


	2. Starlight

_Author's Note: Another real one._

"And I'll never let you goo-o, if you promise not to fa-ade awa-ay, never fa-ade awa-ayy," Hermione sang under her breath as she placed a stasis charm on her potion, making sure to place it somewhere it wouldn't be knocked over.

"Is that a promise?" The voice startled her, and she turned around to find Draco leaning against her doorframe, a lazy smile on his features.

"Hmm? To never let you go?" She asked, standing up to go hug him.

"Yeah." He opened his arms and pulled her to him, savoring the feel of holding her close.

She looked up into his eyes. "Definitely." She nuzzled her nose against his and giggled as she picked her up and carried her to the couch in the common area between their two rooms, one of the perks of sharing a dormitory as head students. He sat down and rearranged her in his lap so that they were both comfortable before speaking.

"Ginny came in earlier, while you were patrolling."

Hermione raised an eyebrow. "Oh?"

"She was very...withdrawn. Immature." He sighed. "She and Pansy came up to see how I was feeling since I wasn't in classes today, and she kept hiding in my blankets and walking out of the room. Not being a part of our conversation."

"It's because she wants to be the only girl you're around," Hermione remarked.

"Hmmph," Draco snorted, "She is so dumb."

"Yeah," Hermione frowned. "She was being really moody today."

Draco laughed outright at that. "No shit!" He shifted Hermione so that her back was leaning against his chest. "She wouldn't tell me why she got mad at you."

Hermione sighed. "She's mad at me because she thinks I'm trying to prove that you like me more than her."

"I do."

Hermione smiled, even though she knew he couldn't see her face. "It just bothers me because she's trying to prove that you like HER more, and she's hitting all of my nerves." She shifted so that she was facing Draco. "I mean, I know you two talk a lot, but the way she acts like she's totally superior to me REALLY pisses me off."

Draco chuckled at the look on her face. "I'd pick you over her any day."

Hermione wasn't done, though. "And sometimes she says things that don't go with what you say. It's like she's desperate for you to want her more."

Draco was silent for a moment. "Man," He said finally. "That's kind of sad."

"She basically told me today that she would rather be your friend than mine."

Draco leaned forward and kissed her forehead. "Yeah, well, I'd rather be your friend than hers."

Hermione giggled and snuggled into his chest. "She's changed, and I don't like it. She's becoming trashy." Hermione looked up at him. "I know that's mean, but it's true."

Draco nodded, "Yeah, I know."

Hermione burried her head back into his chest. "And part of it is that you're just...mine." The last part came out muffled.

Draco laughed. "I am yours," he mused. "I like the sound of that."

Hermione scooted backwards so that she could see his face. "We can get you a collar and everything!" She joked, pretending to snap a lead onto an imaginary collar.

Draco shook his head in amusement and pulled her back into his lap.

"I just...Ugh, I feel like I'm being really stupid and jealous," Hermione admitted. "But I can't seem to help it."

Draco kissed the top of her head, sensing her frustration. "Nahh," He said, stroking her hair. "I am yours. You have every right to be protective." He yawned. "I think I need to hit the sack soon," He said, rubbing his eyes. "I'm still a little sick, remember."

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Yeah, sick my arse. You just don't want the workload."

Draco grinned. "Too much work will weaken my immune system again!" He protested feebly, grabbing at Hermione as she got up from his lap.

"You'll live," She told him, going to get a cup of tea from their kitchen. "Well, you better, anyway." She came back to find him standing up stretching, and handed him a cup as well.

"Yeah, or apparently the whole world comes crashing down," Draco grumbled, thinking of how many people had come to check on him in the hospital wing over the past week.

"Or at least mine," Hermione said, putting down her cup and nestling into his arms.

Draco smiled. "Yes," He said softly, rubbing circles on her back. "If nothing else, I've saved one world from crashing down." He leant down to kiss her on the nose before looking into her eyes. "The one that matters."


	3. Broken

_Author's Note: Thank you to those who put me on their Author Alert list :) And, also to those who reviewed. It means a lot that you enjoy my writing._

It was a few days before the beginning of the second semester of her seventh year at Hogwarts and Hermione Granger was sitting cross-legged on her bed, sipping a glass of hot chocolate and battling the new instant-messging service her friend had installed for her over the summer. She had received an owl from Draco earlier that day which surprised her, to say the least. They had been close during their sixth year, unbeknownst to many, but had had a rather messy falling-out near the end of that summer. The two hadn't talked since, and ignored each other in every class they had together so far this year.

Hermione pulled his letter out of her pocket to re-read it.

"_DLMalfoy. Be on. _

_-D.M."_

Hermione was a little nervous at the prospect of talking to him again after so long. Part of her hoped that he might have changed, but she wasn't expecting too much. She finally managed to add him as a new contact and her heart fluttered wildly when she saw that he was online. She reached out to double click on the glowing green icon, but he beat her to it as a small chat box popped up in the corner of her laptop.

_DLMalfoy: _You're a freak

Hermione rolled her eyes. _Here we go,_ she thought, positioning her fingers over the keyboard.

_miokneee:_ So you've told me.

_DLMalfoy: _What the hell? You're weird.

Hermione glared at the screen.

_miokneee: _Yeah, so are you. I'll get over it.

_DLMalfoy:_ No. How?

_miokneee:_ How are you weird? Well, I don't know.

She paused.

_miokneee:_ How am _I _weird?

_DLMalfoy: _Because. You talk oddly. And you conduct yourself strangely.

_miokneee:_ I'm working on it?

_DLMalfoy:_ You're not going to change.

Hermione snorted at his response.

_miokneee:_ And you're so sure?

_DLMalfoy: _Yes. I am.

_DLMalfoy: _I watch you every day. The way you walk, talk. Do everything. It's weird.

Draco's confession make Hermione feel vaguely uncomfortable, but she didn't let on.

_miokneee:_ Why do you watch me?

_DLMalfoy: _Because. It's interesting.

Hermione was about to type something else when he sent another message.

_DLMalfoy: _I mean, I don't WATCH you, but I keep an eye on you.

_miokneee:_ Weird.

_DLMalfoy: _Not really.

_miokneee:_ Mmm. So what is it that you see?

She was curious as to what kind of bullshit response he would come up with this time.

_DLMalfoy: _A struggle. And a mask.

If Hermione was surprised at how well he knew her, she didn't show it.

_miokneee:_ And you just watch?

_DLMalfoy: _I'm not going to help. Why would I?

_miokneee:_ I didn't say I expected you to.

_DLMalfoy: _Oh. Didn't catch that.

_miokneee:_ No, I don't expect that.

_DLMalfoy: _Good. If I was to do anything, it would be to shut back down.

_miokneee:_ Mmmm. I'm expecting it.

_DLMalfoy: _Well, I'm not going to do it. I'll just watch people run themselves into the ground.

_miokneee:_ I don't plan on it.

_DLMalfoy: _Ha.

_miokneee:_ You think I will?

_DLMalfoy: _I know you will.

_miokneee:_ Why.

_DLMalfoy: _Because. You seem...unstable. Ready to fall at any second.

_miokneee:_ Oh really.

_DLMalfoy: _Yeah, a little. But that's just me.

_miokneee:_ So, then, what do you think is under the mask? I want to see how well you think you know what's going on.

_DLMalfoy: _Give me a second.

Hermione sat back against her headboard and waited for his response. She didn't like the way he could see through her like that, and she was anxious to hear just how deeply he knew. Minutes ticked by and no answer came.

_miokneee:_ ?

_DLMalfoy: _Fear and trouble. A bothered mind, a bothered body. Bad memories, and a slow future. You're drowning, and the mask keeps getting thicker.

She suddenly felt as though she needed to defend herself.

_miokneee:_ I've gotten better at it. Manipulation is a powerful thing. It gives you control.

_DLMalfoy: _You think you're in control? Wait until you've played the games that I've played...

_DLMalfoy: I _have control. I make the rules, and I pull the strings.

_miokneee:_ There are things I do that you don't see.

_DLMalfoy: _There are things you do that I don't see because I don't give a bloody fuck. Jump off a cliff, and I won't see, because it won't phase me. You play your games, I'll play mine.

_DLMalfoy: _Don't get into my business or I'll get into yours, and that's just not healthy.

Hermione could feel goosebumps appearing on her arms and rubbed them to try and get rid of the feeling.

_miokneee:_ I don't believe I have been. I didn't start this conversation.

_DLMalfoy: _Good. And I'll stand back and watch from a distance as you die slowly behind that mask of yours, while I stay alive in the sense that every vain in my body is frozen cold to the touch.

His words didn't need to be spoken out loud to send a shiver down Hermione's spine. She could hear them in her head.

_DLMalfoy: _I'm good for plenty, you know.

_miokneee:_ No, I wouldn't.

_DLMalfoy: _Only to the right people. Of course you wouldn't.

_miokneee:_ Wouldn't, don't want to, never will. It works out.

_DLMalfoy: _Hmm. I can actually see you being cold.

_miokneee:_ I can actually see you underestimate me, sometimes.

_DLMalfoy: _Oh?

_miokneee:_ You think I'm incapable.

_DLMalfoy: _No. You're just falling apart.

_miokneee:_ Who's to say I can't put myself back together?

_DLMalfoy: _Ha. If you do, you'll be the same as you always were.

_miokneee:_ And even then, who's to say that it won't be more of a mask than ever? No one knows the difference between reality and fantasy anymore, anyway.

_DLMalfoy: _You could never be what I've become.

_miokneee:_ I never said I would.

_DLMalfoy: _Why not? Because you can't?

_miokneee:_ No. I'm not going to desensitize myself. I'm bending too much already, and that will only break me faster.

_DLMalfoy:_ There's no point, anyway.

As she read his message, Hermione decided she had already let him get to her more than she had anticipated and moved to exit the conversation. But not before she received his final blow.

_DLMalfoy: _You're already as good as broken.

_Author's Note: Reviews are appreciated._


	4. Stop

_DLMalfoy:_ This is Draco.

_miokneee: _...Hi.

_DLMalfoy:_ You can go to hell, you whore.

_miokneee: _You know, if you're trying to push me away it's already worked, okay?

_DLMalfoy:_ I don't care.

_miokneee: _Just leave me the fuck alone.

_miokneee: _You've done all the fucking damage you need to.

_DLMalfoy:_ That was my direct intention, and you brought it on yourself.

_miokneee: _HOW.

_DLMalfoy:_ Because you're bloody stupid.

_miokneee: _By telling you the TRUTH?

_DLMalfoy:_ No, by being stupid and overreacting.

_miokneee: _What did I overreact over? You running to my best fucking friend after leading me on for months?

_DLMalfoy:_ Wow.

_DLMalfoy:_ You are so fucking thick. It's almost unbelievable.

_miokneee: _Well, if you would just TELL me...

_DLMalfoy:_ No. You should know.

_miokneee: _I think I do.

_DLMalfoy:_ About time.

_miokneee: _Was it something I did, or something I said?

_DLMalfoy:_ Both.

_miokneee: _I know I overreacted.

_DLMalfoy:_ No shit. You are ridiculously dumb, you fucking cow.

_miokneee: _Yeah, I know. You've only told me a couple million times by now.

_miokneee: _So I overreacted and I got angry because I was jealous. And I apologized.

_DLMalfoy:_ That's not fucking good enough.

_miokneee: _What IS, then?

_miokneee: _Do you want me to get on my knees and beg?

_DLMalfoy:_ No. Don't Beg. I might feel bad.

_miokneee: _Ha.

_miokneee: _No you wouldn't.

_DLMalfoy:_ Maybe, maybe not.

_DLMalfoy:_ You know I'm cold.

_miokneee: _I know. You've ignored me for the past few months.

_DLMalfoy:_ This is just luck that you've caught be in a better mood.

_miokneee: _Well I'm not going to push it.

_DLMalfoy:_ No, go ahead and see where it takes you.

_miokneee: _There's nowhere else to go.

_miokneee: _I know not to overreact, and that you want me to change.

_DLMalfoy:_ Smart. You adapt.

_miokneee: _Everything does, when you give it the chance.

_DLMalfoy:_ Do you consider this a chance?

_miokneee: _No.

_DLMalfoy:_ Because it's not.

_miokneee: _Thought so.

_DLMalfoy:_ Well, I'm out.

_DLMalfoy:_ I never want to speak to you again.

_DLMalfoy has gone away._

_miokneee: _I don't understand you.

_miokneee: _You probably aren't reading this, but you know exactly what you're doing.

_miokneee: _You say you don't want me to beg, but that's exactly what you want.

_miokneee: _You know that what you're doing to me now hurts more than anything anyone else could possibly do.

_miokneee: _I just don't understand. You always push me away.

_miokneee: _ALWAYS.

_DLMalfoy:_ STOP. Now.

_miokneee: _I already know that I'm nothing to you...I just don't understand why.

_DLMalfoy:_ Stop...

_miokneee: _If you don't care, you should be able to say it.


	5. Confused

_DLMalfoy: _I know I am.

_Auto-reply from miokneee: You're confusing me._

_miokneee: _Mmmm.

_DLMalfoy: _Oh, what, is broken, shattered Hermione upset?

_DLMalfoy: _Is your your mask showing through?

_DLMalfoy: _Perhaps, you're still whole, but you just don't feel that way.

_miokneee: _Will you shut the fuck up, trying to sound all eloquent and intelligent? You sound like a bloody moron.

_miokneee: _And is there any point to you IMing me when all you do is tell me the same things over and over again?

_DLMalfoy: _I'm not sure; you tell me.

_miokneee: _I really don't think there is.

_miokneee: _Unless there's something you want to tell me that I might actually want to hear.

_DLMalfoy: _Hmmm. I don't think I have anything that you want to hear.

_DLMalfoy: _But, maybe.

_DLMalfoy: _Are you still pissed about your quill?

_miokneee: _I bought a new one.

_DLMalfoy: _I was going to give it back, but alright.

_miokneee: _Go ahead and keep it to remind you that you keep winning.

_DLMalfoy: _No, no. Because then I'd lose.

_DLMalfoy: _I'm much too smart to make a mistake like that.

_miokneee: _Like what.

_DLMalfoy: _Like thinking I win all the time, because I don't. And a silly quill isn't going to be the thing to remind me.

_miokneee: _So what is? What else do you get out of me to remind you.

_DLMalfoy: _I don't NEED anything to remind myself, per say.

_DLMalfoy: _The results of what I've done are the only thing I want to see.

_miokneee: _So what results am I showing, then.

_DLMalfoy: _I wasn't referring to you.

_miokneee: _So, what, does that mean you aren't trying to get results from me?

_DLMalfoy: _Yes.

_DLMalfoy: _I leave you alone for the most part.

_miokneee: _Mmmm.

_DLMalfoy: _I just don't like you.

_miokneee: _Oh, joy. Why does that not surprise me...

_DLMalfoy: _Uh, I don't know.

_miokneee: _Rhetorical question, you fucking moron.

_DLMalfoy: _Actually, it wasn't even a question.

_DLMalfoy: _Don't start with me.

_miokneee: _I'm not.

_DLMalfoy: _You sure? Seems like it.

_miokneee: _I'm tired, and I'm taking it out on you, because you're always the one to take it out on me.

_DLMalfoy: _Take that out on me, and I'll take everything out on you.

_miokneee: _Go ahead.

_DLMalfoy: _Oh really. You want that.

_miokneee: _Sure. Let's hear it.

_DLMalfoy: _It's not words. Nothing I can say, or put into words.

_miokneee: _Then what is it, hmm.

_DLMalfoy: _:)

_miokneee: _That really doesn't tell my anything, except that maybe you want to beat me to a bloody pulp.

_DLMalfoy: _Of course not.

_miokneee: _Yeah. Right.

_DLMalfoy: _I don't dislike you that much.

_DLMalfoy: _You know, in the course of a couple months I lost all feelings for you. It's odd.

_miokneee: _I tend to have that effect on people.

_DLMalfoy: _You do. And it's so odd.

_DLMalfoy: _What did you do to have such a way of pushing people away?

_miokneee: _Guess it's just the fact of my fucking existence.

_DLMalfoy: _No, that's just bloody stupid.

_miokneee: _I feel the same about you. A few months ago I would have given anything for you to want me.

_miokneee: _Now, I could care less.

_DLMalfoy: _Exactly.

_DLMalfoy: _So you and I are a lot alike.

_DLMalfoy: _The thing is, I watch and listen and pay attention. And almost everything I see bothers me.

_miokneee: _Yeah, and how.

_DLMalfoy: _The way you walk.

_DLMalfoy: _The way you smile.

_DLMalfoy: _The way you laugh.

_DLMalfoy: _The way you interact.

_miokneee: _It shouldn't bother you if you don't give a flying fuck about me.

_DLMalfoy: _But it does.

_DLMalfoy: _I try so hard not to pay attention. But you're like an annoying, clumsy little animal that can't understand it's own existence.

_DLMalfoy: _Sorry. This isn't meant to hurt you.

_miokneee: _I daresay I've grown numb to anything that was. Partially your doing.

_DLMalfoy: _So, there are results.

_miokneee: _I said partially.

_DLMalfoy: _Still. It's progress.

_miokneee: _Yeah, congratulations, you've succeeded in fucking with me.

_DLMalfoy: _No, no. I didn't mean to fuck with you...

_DLMalfoy: _Well before I make myself sound crazy, I'm going to go.

_miokneee: _Go ahead and say it. I won't think you are.

_DLMalfoy: _Yes, you do.

_miokneee: _I don't think you're crazy.

_miokneee: _I think you're cold, and heartless, and I know that your mind doesn't work the way I expect it to, but I don't think you're crazy.

_DLMalfoy: _How do you expect my mind to work? This, I want to know.

_miokneee: _It's not so much how I expect you to work as how I want you to work.

_DLMalfoy: _And how is that.

_miokneee: _It never has, and never will, happened.

_miokneee: _So at the risk of me sounding crazy as well...

_DLMalfoy: _No, come on. We're both crazy. Tell me.

_miokneee: _I wanted you to realize that I cared, and maybe even care back.

_miokneee: _Like I said, never happened, never will.

_DLMalfoy: _Well, that's where you're wrong.


	6. Familiar

Hermione walked through the front gate of the Muggle restaurant that Draco had made reservations at, looking for the familiar shock of platinum blonde hair. She found him and crossed the back patio in seconds, seating herself across from him at their table for two. His face was hidden behind loose strands of hair that were too short to push behind his ears, and when he looked up at her she was slightly startled.

"You got your lip pierced..." She said, saying it almost as a question. Draco's hand leapt up to his mouth, where he fingered the shiny metal ring that pierced his left lower lip. "Did you do it yourself?"

He snorted. "Pfft, hell no."

"Hm." Hermione sat back in her chair, eyeing his lip.

"Hm." He mimicked, raising his eyebrows in rhythm.

"You are your eyebrow dance..." She muttered, rolling her eyes.

"Hey, step off, ho!" Draco shot back teasingly, fighting the urge to stick his tongue out.

Hermione laughed, "Alright..." She contended, still smiling slightly.

"Do you like it?"

"Your lip?"

"Yeah, I think it's amazing," He mused. "I love it."

"It suits you," Hermione said softly.

"I know it does." He grinned.

"I'm getting snakebites, soon," Hermione offered.

Draco tutted. "Snakebites are stupid."

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Not like you care what I look like."

"So?" Draco countered. "I wouldn't want you looking stupid, that's for sure." He scrunched up his face in distaste to prove his point.

"Mmm, thanks for that face." Hermione said absentmindedly. "I had the weirdest urge to come over, today. Spend the night."

"My place?" Draco asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah."

"Why?" He seemed genuinely interested.

"I don't know," She shrugged. "I guess because I don't feel anything for you anymore, and I know that you feel the same way about me. I can't really explain it in a way that makes sense."

"It makes sense," He admitted. "But, uhh, yeah, if you want to stay over, you're welcome."

Hermione sniggered slightly. "Thanks, I'll keep that in mind for the next time I get the inane urge...I still don't know what triggered it."

An impish grin found its way onto Draco's face. "Probably me working out," He boasted, puffing out his chest.

"Riight."

"Have you seen this body?!" Draco pouted, looking put out.

Hermione sighed. "Not recently..."

The grin came back. "Exactly." He got a glimmer of mischief in his eyes. "You should paint me nude..."

Hermione glared at him with something akin to disgust on her features. "Ha. Maybe you shouldn't have taken Muggle Studies after all, the art section seems to have gotten to your head."

Draco wasn't done, though. "Or you could sculpt me out of stone," He suggested, still grinning devilishly.

"Yeah," Hermione scoffed, "Because I could definitely do that in one night."

"You could do it in ice," He persisted.

She looked at his hopeful expression, vaguely amused. "I could just paint you..." She started to say, and then her eyes brightened. "Paper Maché!" She grinned back.

Draco looked thoughtful for a moment, and then, "You would need a cone for my penis," He said seriously.

"Ha!" Hermione crowed, "That would be one wonky looking penis!"

"Nahh, of course not," Draco joked.

"You might get a little sticky," She warned, playing into their game.

"It'll be okay," He smirked.

"It's going to get messy..." She knew how much he hated getting any sort of mess on himself. His response surprised her, though.

"That's the point!"

She smiled. "As long as I don't have to sleep covered in goop..."

"Oh, that's the best part!" He exclaimed, not quite sarcastically.

"Ugh, but it dries and stiffens!" Hermione complained, running her hands up and down her arms as if to brush off the offending plaster.

"We'll break out the drill and uncrust you in the morning."

Hermione looked alarmed. "No drill! You can just hose me down and it'll melt off," She suggested.

"No way," Draco scrunched his face again.

"Fine," Hermione signed, "Stick me in the shower."

Something flickered in Draco's eyes. "We both know that's no good..." He admonished.

"Never said you had to go in WITH me," She huffed.

Draco looked away. "I've been meaning to apologize for that," He admitted.

"For what?"

"The shower."

Hermione looked down. "Forget about it."

"I'm trying," He said softly. "But it's the basis for why we are the way we are..."

"I know." She stared studiously at her silverware to avoid looking at his face. "As long as it doesn't happen again."

They were both silent for a moment until Draco spoke. "I wanted it to."

"What?" She looked up.

"Nevermind." He was looking away, too.

"Ah. Well."

He looked at her, then. "Well, what?" He asked, "You want to?"

"Sometimes," She admitted.

"Why?" He looked almost sad.

"I don't really have a reason," She began slowly, "except that I want to."

"That makes no sense."

"No, not really," She said carefully. "Maybe because you're familiar."

"Oh."

He sounded almost disappointed that the reason wasn't something else.


	7. Afraid

"Hey." Hermione whirled around at the voice that came from behind her.

"Oh," She said, spotting Draco hurrying to catch up with her, "hey."

He fell into step next to her, jamming his hands into his pockets as he watched her tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. "How are you?"

Hermione kept walking. "Fine," she said, stopping suddenly and scanning the area around the lake, and spotting shaded area under a tree, right near the shoreline.

Draco followed her over and sat down next to her with his back against the trunk, staring out at the lake. "I want to swim," he said wistfully, "have fun."

"What do you mean?"

He turned to look at her. "Just...fun. I feel odd." He looked back out. "I need to be okay. I need to be alright," he trailed off.

Hermione caught the slightest glimmer of sadness in his eyes. "You'll have fun tonight?" She offered.

"Why's that."

"Hogsmeade for the seventh years, remember? Celebration of the downfall," she reminded him.

"Yeah. I dunno."

Hermione sighed. "I wish I could make you happy."

Draco looked up from the pattern he was tracing into the dust and grinned. "You made me pretty happy the other night..."

Hermione blushed, trying hard not to smile. "Yeah, well that probably won't happen again tonight."

"Oh, it won't...?" Draco left the question open.

Hermione snorted. "We'll still have chaperones, you know."

"Hmmmm, maybe."

"What do you mean, maybe?" Hermione said playfully, swatting at him.

"I dunno," he smiled, but it was immediately chased away by a slight frown. "I don't know what to do."

"About what?" Hermione asked, now tracing her own patterns.

"I kind of want to pursue this someone sexual thing...but...I don't know..." He said slowly, blowing on his drawing.

"But not with me," Hermione said softly.

He looked up, meeting her eyes. "No," he countered, "with you."

"Oh.."

"Yeah..." Draco looked down again. "I...want you."

Hermione smiled sadly. "But?..."

"But nothing."

"Well then, what's holding you back?" She whispered.

Draco looked out towards where the sun was starting to set. "I...I don't know," he admitted. "I'm afraid." His eyes held a vaguely haunted look. He started as he felt Hermione nestle next to him.

"Don't be."


	8. Remembering Sunday

Draco sat with his back against the giant oak by the lake, rubbing his temples and staring out into the sunset. He couldn't think of a reason why he should be with her. He didn't love her. Sure, they'd been together for months, but he didn't love her. He looked up at the castle, zeroing in on the window of their shared room, as head students, imagining her curled up by the fire, reading a book, curls cascading and completely absorbed. The wind blew a little harder and Draco pulled his coat tighter around himself, cursing the cold weather. He hesitated to finalize his decision, knowing how badly it would hurt her. He always told her he loved her. He held her when she cried, and joined her when she laughed. She told him her secrets, and he told her his. They were THE couple. They were always together, always happy. She made him happy, yes, but he didn't love her. He just couldn't feel it. He felt as though needed something else, but he wasn't sure what. He sighed, throwing his head back against the tree, wincing as it made contact with the frozen bark. Closing his eyes, he went over the words in his head.

_He woke up from dreaming and put on his shoes, starting making his way past two in the morning. He hasn't been sober for days...Leaning now into the breeze, remembering Sunday, he falls to his knees. _

_They had breakfast together, but two eggs don't last like the feeling of what he needs. Now this place seems familiar to him; She pulled on his hand with a devilish grin, she led him upstairs; she led him upstairs, left him dying to get in._

"I need to talk to you."

Hermione looked up from the book she was reading to see Draco leaning against the door-frame, eyes darting around the room, and focusing on a photo of them together.

"Is everything okay?" Hermione asked, concerned at the look on his face. She folded her page and set the book aside, unsettled by his expression.

Draco had to fight to meet her eyes.

"I'm sorry..." He whispered. He cleared his throat. "I can't do this anymore."

Hermione didn't seem to understand. "Can't...do what?" She asked, concern in her eyes, prepared to jump up to comfort him at any moment.

"This," He gestured. "Us."

Hermione felt as though she'd been hit in the chest with a ton of weight. "W..What?" She whispered, blinking furiously.

"I just...I can't keep pretending," Draco pleaded. "We're happy, I know we are, but..but I don't love you." The look in her eyes made him want to run to her and hold her close, but he knew that if he did, he wouldn't be able to go through with it. "I just...I can't go on like this. We've been together for so long, but something, it's missing. I need to end it. I'm sorry." He swallowed the lump in his throat, watching the emotions crashing over her face. "I..I have to go."

Tears fell down Hermione's face as she stared, dumbstruck, as he turned around and walked out of the door.

_Forgive me, I'm trying to find my calling, I'm calling at night. I don't mean to be a bother, but have you seen this girl? She's been running through my dreams, and it's driving me crazy, it seems. I'm gonna ask her to marry me._

The cold winter wind teased the curls that hung around Hermione's face, barely budging those that stuck to the tear tracks on her cheeks. Her back was against the stone column that formed part of the window frame, and her feet were inches away from the edge. A strangled shriek came from the forbidden forest, startling her out of her thoughts, and she watched as several Thestrals rose from the tree tops, craning their necks and uttering their mournful wail at the moon. One circled higher and higher until it suddenly seemed to fall out of thin air, spiraling downward until it caught itself on the wind, soaring back over the treetops to join the rest of the herd. Hermione stood, wrapping one arm around herself and gripping the marble column with the other. Her feet edged slowly towards the edge of the windowsill until just the tips of her toes hung over the side, and she carefully let go of the column, not wanting to lose her balance. She stood there on the edge for the longest time, watching the Thestrals swoop down to what seemed to be their death, and catching themselves at the last moment. One seemed to catch her eye, it circled and circled, but it hadn't dived yet. She watched it, eyes glued to the delicate skeletal form, hauntingly beautiful. When it finally fell into a dive, she barely realized she was falling, too.

_And even though she doesn't believe in love, he's determined to call her bluff. Who could deny these butterflies? They're filling his gut. Waking the neighbors, unfamiliar faces. He pleads, though he tries, but he's only denied. Now he's dying to get inside._

It was nearing three in the morning, and Draco was pacing across his room, waiting to hear the creak of the door that would signify Hermione's arrival. He had been gone for maybe an hour when he realized why he felt so empty after telling her it was over. He loved her. He loved her more than anything in the world, because in the one hour he spent thinking, every possible future he could think of began first and foremost with her. He wanted nothing more than to hold her close and have her fall asleep in his arms, but when he had run back to apologize and throw himself at her feet, she'd been gone. He'd left the common room for the Library, where he had no luck finding her. He'd gone to the Gryffindor common room, which also turned up empty. After wandering the halls for a good hour, he'd come back to the common room, but she wasn't there either. He walked over to his window, glancing outside, and immediately spotted all the Thestrals in the air, doing their daring dance. He could barely hear their haunting calls through the enchanted glass of the window, but something chilled him to the bone. He turned on his heel and made his way to the only possible solution he could think of. The Room of Requirement.

_Forgive me, I'm trying to find my calling, I'm calling at night. I don't mean to be a bother, but have you seen this girl? She's been running through my dreams, and it's driving me crazy, it seems. I'm gonna ask her to marry me._

The wind stung her face as it whistled past Hermione as she fell, but the pain didn't penetrate the numbness that had already set in. Her limp form twisted in the air and her hair tangled around her, but she made no struggle nor any sign of distress. Her eyes were calmly closed, and her slender neck was bent backwards almost gracefully, as though the wind were carrying her in its arms and simply had no support. The thin silk of her nightgown rustled madly and fought to be free of her form, but it was a fruitless struggle. She could sense the impact coming, but instead of fear she felt nothing but an empty calm, an irrevocable certainty. The low moan of the wind faded into nothing and all sensation was lost as she finally struck the barrier of oblivion.

_The neighbors said she moved away, funny how it rained all day. I didn't think much of it then, but it's starting to all make sense. Oh, I can see now that all of these clouds are following me in my desperate endeavor to find my whoever, whoever she may be._

Draco ran down the hall, desperately trying to remember where the Room of Requirement was located. As if answering his thoughts, a door appeared in front of him, and he wrenched it open, sprinting inside only to find an empty room, spartan to the extreme with only an open window. The curtains that hung around it billowed in the chilling breeze and Draco felt a pang of apprehensiveness as he realized he had a perfect view of the Thestrals. Suddenly struck with a terrible thought, he stumbled backwards, not daring to think it. Fearfully, he looked to the open window and then to the Thestrals, still wailing and shrieking mournfully. Praying in his head that what he was thinking was impossible, he forced himself to walk to the open window, dreading what he would see when he looked down. He felt his shins bump against the window sill and opened his eyes, swallowing dryly and looking into the darkness. At first he saw nothing but the drab darkness of the frozen ground, but as his vision became more focused, a pale gleam caught the corner of his eye. His mind refused to make sense of what he was seeing for the first few moments, but as soon as it registered that the white heap was a human form, he sprang back from the window with a cry of disbelief. Tears clouded his vision as he frantically tried to make sense of how to get to her the fastest, and as if the room understood his thoughts a door appeared in the place of the window. Not even pausing to think, Draco lunged toward it and tore the handle off in his need to see her, to know if this horrible nightmare was real. The door swung open to reveal a crumpled heap of pale fabric, still as death. Time stood still as Draco walked soundlessly toward the ruin that remained of the love of his life, refusing to accept that the still figure that lay on the ground in front of him was his Hermione. He knelt by her, trembling violently, and reached out to brush the hair away from her eyes. His hand brushed the porcelain skin of her face, miraculously perfect, as was the rest of her. Her skin was still warm, barely, as the curls slid away from her face and Draco looked into her now vacant eyes.

_I'm not coming back (forgive me), I've done something so terrible, I'm terrified to speak (I'm not calling, I'm not calling) but you'd expect that from me. I'm mixed up, I'll be blunt, now the rain is just (You're driving me crazy, I'm) washing you out of my hair. And I'm out of my mind, keeping an eye on the world from so many thousands of feet off the ground. I'm over you now, I'm at home in the clouds, and towering over your head._

As Draco cradled Hermione in his arms that night, his heart-wrenching sobs seemed to echo those of the Thestrals, who kept a vigil until morning until it was discovered at last that both Hermione and Draco were missing. The Thestrals were still circling, singing their mournful song, but they were the only remnants of the nightmare that took place that Sunday.


	9. Jealousy

_miokneee has signed on._

_miokneee is away._

_DLMalfoy: _Awwww, is that for me too?

_Autoreply from miokneee: Real Eyes Realize Real Lies._

_miokneee: _Why do you have the sick delusion that my entire world revolves around you?

_DLMalfoy: _Oh I don't.

_DLMalfoy: _I just know that when you're pissed at people, or some other stupid feeling, you tend to voice it through the internet or some other bullshit like that.

_miokneee: _Didn't realize you checked my posts so often.

_DLMalfoy:_ I don't.

_DLMalfoy: _I just know you do it

_DLMalfoy: _ALL THE TIME

_DLMalfoy: _Like someone cares, or something.

_miokneee: _Ha, yeah right.

_DLMalfoy: _Exactly.

_DLMalfoy: _So why do you do that?

_miokneee: _Just the pretense that someone might.

_DLMalfoy: _Hmmm.

_DLMalfoy: _Wait,

_DLMalfoy: _So are you pissed that I have a girlfriend?

_DLMalfoy: _Yes?

_DLMalfoy: _No?

_DLMalfoy: _Simple question needs a simple answer.

_miokneee: _A little.

_DLMalfoy: _Okay, so yes.

_DLMalfoy: _Alright, why?

_miokneee: _It's not like you care? So why are you asking.

_DLMalfoy: _No, I don't, I'm just curious.

_miokneee: _Well don't worry about it.

_DLMalfoy: _Awwww COME ON!

_DLMalfoy: _You're killing me, really.

_DLMalfoy: _You're jealous.

_miokneee: _Really, you don't care.

_DLMalfoy: _Why are you jealous?

_miokneee: _Don't worry about it.

_DLMalfoy: _Because you never had me and now she does?

_DLMalfoy: _Oh, come on!

_miokneee: _Honestly, does it really matter?

_DLMalfoy: _Yeah, I want to know.

_miokneee: _Well we don't always get what we want now, do we.

_DLMalfoy: _No, and that's why you're so pissed, or jealous, or both.

_miokneee: _Once again, don't worry about it.

_miokneee:_ Not only does it not matter, you don't care.

_DLMalfoy: _So? I still want to know.

_miokneee: _Well that sucks, doesn't it?

_DLMalfoy: _Not really. I mean I don't really care.

_DLMalfoy: _:)

_DLMalfoy: _I'll just file it away as jealousy and leave it at that.

_DLMalfoy has gone offline._


	10. Bullshit

_DLMalfoy: _Still pissed er what?

_miokneee:_ No.

_DLMalfoy:_ Lie.

_miokneee: _Honest to god, I'm not pissed.

_DLMalfoy: _Bullshit.

_miokneee:_ I have no REASON to be pissed

_DLMalfoy: _You're jealous, too.

_DLMalfoy: _Then why were you in the first place?

_miokneee:_ Because I didn't realize you were talking to another girl.

_miokneee: _But hey, whatever it's all good now.

_DLMalfoy: _No its not.

_DLMalfoy:_ You're probably still pissed or...whatever it was you were.

_miokneee:_ Do you WANT me to be pissed off?

_DLMalfoy:_ Go ahead.

_DLMalfoy:_ It doesnt matter to me.

_miokneee:_ Like, I really just don't care anymore.

_miokneee:_ You can talk to whoever you want, have fun.

_DLMalfoy:_ Bullshit, you've said that so many times.

_miokneee:_ Why do you keep talking to me.

_miokneee:_ Why do you always need to make sure I'm pining away at the fact that you're with some other girl.

_DLMalfoy: _I don't.

_DLMalfoy: _I'm just right and your just stuffing it inside.

_miokneee:_ The world doesn't revolve around you, you know.

_DLMalfoy: _No shit.

_miokneee: _Whatever, no matter what i say you're going to convince yourself that you're right.

_DLMalfoy:_ No.

_DLMalfoy:_ I've looked at the big picture here,

_DLMalfoy:_ And

_DLMalfoy: _You

_DLMalfoy:_ Are

_DLMalfoy:_ Just

_DLMalfoy: _Angry and jealous.

_miokneee:_ Why, because she has you and I don't?

_DLMalfoy: _Pretty much.

_miokneee: _You're so arrogant.

_DLMalfoy:_ No, that's just what you told me.

_miokneee: _What?

_DLMalfoy:_ You said it indirectly to me that you were just upset that you dont have me, and its pretty obvious.

_DLMalfoy:_ Or was.

_miokneee:_ Um, I didn't say it indirectly, I was asking if that was your opinion.

_DLMalfoy:_ Bulllllllllllllllllllllllllllshit.

_DLMalfoy has signed off._


	11. Comfortably Numb

_Hello? Is there anybody in there? Just nod if you can hear me...Is there anyone at home? Come on, now, I hear you're feeling down. Well, I can ease your pain, get you on your feet again. Relax. I'll just need some information first, just the basic facts. Can you show me where it hurts?_

The absolute silence in the Room of Requirement seemed to pound in Hermione Granger's ears as she sat on it's replication of a bathroom counter from a very specific memory, pouring over memories of the past year. So many things had changed, including her. She was no longer the know-it-all bookworm who ruled the classrooms at the beginning of the year. Instead, in her place was an entirely new person. One who got into trouble and flirted with too many boys. She hid alcohol under her four-poster bed and had replaced the rare headache potion with contraceptives. Scooting back so that her back was leaning against the mirror on the wall behind the counter, she thought of the boy that had triggered everything. How she had despised him for so long, because he was everything she wasn't, as well as everything she couldn't have. How he had come back from the summer looking completely different; grown. The curve of his jaw now mimicked a smoothly chiseled marble sculpture, and he had grown almost a head taller. His finely-tailored clothing clung to every curve of his muscled shoulders and she could practically see the power that rippled under the fabric when he moved. Suddenly, everything she had so fiercely despised, she now lusted for. And apparently, he felt the same way. At first, they had continued ignoring each other, both denying the sexual tension between them. Soon, though, it became to obvious to push away. The two had been patrolling together one night and since he knew no other way to express his frustration, he took it out on her.

"Oy, mudblood," He had sneered. "Not scared to be alone in the dungeons with a Malfoy?" He smirked at the fury in her eyes, enjoying the way her cheeks flushed with anger.

"Go fuck yourself, ferret." She had shot back, "If I can not only survive a duel with your father, but BEST him, I think I can handle his spawn." That hit a nerve. Before Hermione had time to react, she was pinned against the wall by Draco, one wrist held by each of his hands on either side above her head.

"Don't. You. _EVER _talk about my father." He'd hissed into her face. "Your filthy mouth shouldn't even be allowed to utter the Malfoy name." As soon as he said that, though, something flickered in his eyes, and they dropped down to her lips. One of the hands that held her captive slowly came down to trace the outline of her lips with one trembling alabaster finger. "Filthy..." he murmured, "But beautiful." And before Hermione could even guess what he was about to do, she felt his lips press softly against her own.

The initial shock made her first instinct to pull away, but she was trapped. The urge faded, though, as he softly nipped her lower lip, urging her to open her mouth with his probing tongue. The thought briefly crossed her mind that this was absolutely insane, but it was soon trampled by the wave of repressed lust that fired her to respond to his touch by allowing their tongues to mingle and grinding her body against the hips that had her pinned against the wall. It seemed eons later that they broke apart; her hands had become tangled in his hair and she slowly removed them as he stepped back.

"What just happened?" She whispered.

_There is no pain, you are receding. A distant ship, smoke on the horizon. You are only coming through in waves...Your lips move but I can't hear what you're saying. When I was a child, I had a fever. My hands felt just like two balloons. Now I've got that feeling once again. I can't explain it, you wouldn't understand. This is not how I am...I have become comfortably numb._

After that encounter, they went back to ignoring each other for a while until it was almost as if it had never happened. Things seemed back to normal, although they no longer hurled insults at each other. It was almost a truce, but not quite. Hermione thought that her lust had been satisfied at that point, but too soon it came back. Little did she know, Draco was going through the same thing. And just as their first encounter was entirely unexpected, so was their second.

The Prefect's bathroom had no lock; it could be accessed by anyone who wished to enter. That particular night, Hermione, who couldn't sleep no matter how hard she tried, had ventured down to the large marble and glass shower just because. The fog had barely steamed up the glass enough to distort her body when the portrait that served as the door opened, and fate stepped in. Hermione didn't see Draco enter, nor did she see him undress and lay his clothes down next to her. She didn't realize he was there until the glass door to the shower slid open, and he stepped in. Neither one said anything, and they didn't need to. The permission went unspoken between them. Things happened much the same way as they had in the dungeons, though this time there were no barriers of clothing to prevent things from leading to a point of no return. The two explored each others bodies, mesmerized by the slick feel of skin on skin, the droplets of water that clung to their flesh. Hermione couldn't quite recall how long they melted into each other, how long they were lost in their passion. But at some point, they must have parted, and she must have gone back to her dormitory. Somehow, they had dressed, said goodbye, and left the other again.

This time, though, they only ignored each other where they could be seen by the public eye. In private, it was another matter entirely. The Room of Requirement became their lair, and some kind of attachment to the memory made it the same every time; a replica of the Prefect's bathroom.

Their affair lasted throughout the year, but both pushed away the feelings that were beginning to develop; ones that went beyond just lust. The jealousy of other people went unnoticed in either one's eyes until it finally drove them apart. And that's when it started.

She had just lost it; it didn't seem to matter anymore. Who she was with, what she did. Makeup began appearing on her counter, sensible cotton underwear was replaced with lacy lingerie. Her school uniform seemed tighter, and shorter, somehow. Her walk turned into a confident sway, and boys began to watch her when she walked down the hall. The ever-present hand that was usually waving about during classes disappeared; this Hermione was content to do her work quietly, and without the urge to brag about her knowledge. She became something she never thought she'd be: Wanted.

_Okay, just a little pinprick; there'll be no more...AARGHH! But you may feel a little sick. Can you stand up? I do believe it's working, good. That'll keep you going through the show. Come on, it's time to go._

Now, as Hermione sat in the same spot where, so long ago, it seemed, she had made the decision to lose her virginity to the boy she had despised for the first six years of knowing, she found it hard to focus. Overwhelmed by memories; the feeling of his skin, the smell of him as he held her, they soft press of his lips on hers; she leaned against that counter and let herself drown in them. She would be graduating tomorrow, she mused. Oh, how far she'd come since her first year. How far she'd fallen. She had been with so many other boys, this year. She'd let herself be used more times than she could count, just because she was wanted. Because the way boys fell over each other just to get her attention made her feel powerful. Because she found that manipulation could get her so much farther than her schoolwork ever did. But every time she entered the Room of Requirement and as much as she tried to change her surroundings, they never seemed to waiver. Draco, it appeared, would never leave her thoughts. The memories came rushing back, leaving her breathless and dizzy. She could her his laugh, feel his breath tickle the soft hollow of her throat. Even after everything he had put her through, she wished she could be with him. Just one last time. Almost as if the Gods could read her mind, the door swung open and none other than Draco Malfoy himself stepped in. Hermione passed it off as a figment of her imagination; she was finally going crazy with longing. But then he spoke.

"I thought I'd find you here."

He didn't need to say anything more.

_There is no pain, you are receding. A distant ship, smoke on the horizon. You are only coming through in waves...Your lips move but I can't hear what you're saying. When I was a child, I caught a fleeting glimpse out of the corner of my eye. I turned to look, but it was gone. I cannot put a finger on it now. The child is grown, the dream is gone. I have become comfortably numb._


	12. Worry

_autoreply from miokneee: left him dying to get in_

_DLMalfoy:_ What's that from?

_miokneee:_ Remembering Sunday.

_DLMalfoy:_ Gay.

_miokneee:_ Shoulda known you'd IM me to be a jerk.

_DLMalfoy:_ What else would I do, be nice? Pfft.

_miokneee:_ I didn't say I expected anything different now, did I?

_DLMalfoy:_ No.

_DLMalfoy:_ No you sure didn't.

_miokneee:_ Well then, don't assume things.

_DLMalfoy:_ Hmm. I'll look into it.

_miokneee:_ You're absolutely infuriating, you know that?

_DLMalfoy:_ Oh yes, I know I am :)

_DLMalfoy:_ Oh hush, you like the attention.

_miokneee:_ Oh yeah, I love it.

_miokneee:_ I LIVE for it.

_DLMalfoy:_ Me being a jerk to you every once in a while lets you know I care.

_DLMalfoy:_ Oh, and I would tell you something really big and cool,

_DLMalfoy:_ But I'm not going to.

_miokneee:_ Ha, no big surprise there.

_miokneee:_ So why do you hate me so much?

_DLMalfoy:_ Because. You messed up first.

_miokneee:_ That's it? That's a little juvenile, dontcha think?

_DLMalfoy:_ You jumped the gun and showed me that you couldn't handle me being with someone else.

_miokneee:_ Yeah, like I ever expected you to be with me at all?

_miokneee:_ I know you better than that.

_DLMalfoy:_ Well either way, you got pissed.

_miokneee:_ Yeah, and you KNEW I would. You were baiting me.

_DLMalfoy:_ No, I didn't. I was hoping you would take it like a cool, MATURE person would, but no biggie.

_DLMalfoy:_ I don't give a flying fuck.

_miokneee:_ Ugh, nevermind. It's impossible to talk to you. Nothing ever goes anywhere.

_DLMalfoy:_ Where were you trying to go?

_miokneee:_ It really doesn't matter now, does it.

_DLMalfoy:_ No, not really.

_DLMalfoy:_ But seriously, big stuff going down, I'm pumped.

_miokneee:_ And you're not going to tell me what it is, and so there is no point in me caring.

_miokneee:_ I don't even want to date you. I just wanted to be friends, but it's like were utterly incapable of that, even.

_DLMalfoy:_ Nope. Because I know exactly what you would do.

_miokneee:_ Right, so everything is wrong with me, then.

_DLMalfoy:_ Uh, yeah.

_miokneee:_ You always know how to make me feel better.

_DLMalfoy:_ Always have.

_miokneee:_ Yep.

_miokneee:_ You sure have.

_DLMalfoy:_ Well what did you want me to say?

_miokneee: _ didn't WANT you to say anything. Forget it.

_DLMalfoy:_ Victory :)

_miokneee:_ Yep, you win.

_miokneee:_ You always win.

_DLMalfoy:_ No, not always.

_miokneee:_ Whatever.

_DLMalfoy:_ Sometimes you make mistakes and almost give me the victory.

_miokneee:_ That's almost a compliment, coming from you.

_DLMalfoy:_ Almost.

_miokneee:_ So do I bother you that much that you'll actually leave what you're doing so that you don't have to be near me?

_DLMalfoy:_ Like today?

_miokneee:_ Yeah.

_DLMalfoy:_ OH yeah.

_miokneee:_ Guess you DON'T win all the time, then.

_DLMalfoy:_ No shit, I just said that.

_miokneee:_ Jesus fucking Christ, I can never get a break with you, can I.

_miokneee:_ It's like you just wait for me to do shit wrong so you can pounce on it and make me feel worse than I already do. And you ALWAYS manage to talk to me when I'm already having a shitty day.

_DLMalfoy:_ Oh well, sorry, you should tell me these things.

_miokneee:_ Yeah, like you give a flying fuck? That's rich.

_DLMalfoy:_ I would if I had a reason to.

_miokneee:_ You don't have one, and you never did.

_DLMalfoy:_ I did at one point, before someone got jealous?!

_DLMalfoy:_ We're in HIGHSCHOOL.

_miokneee:_ I've noticed.

_DLMalfoy:_ Oh, shit, really?!

_miokneee:_ I'm also a teenaged girl; we tend to get jealous, it's like a fact of life.

_DLMalfoy:_ Yeah, and really moody all the fucking time, which is why I date older.

_miokneee:_ You'd be surprised.

_DLMalfoy:_ So far, the only thing that has surprised me is how amazing older girls are.

_miokneee:_ Hey, good for you.

_DLMalfoy:_ I know. I'm really happy.

_miokneee:_ I'm glad.

_DLMalfoy:_ Me too, like really.

_miokneee:_ Cool.

_DLMalfoy:_ GOD! I've waited in silence, and now I can be normal. I've done everything right, I won't have to be mean.

_miokneee:_ What makes you so normal all of a sudden?

_DLMalfoy:_ Oh, not yet.

_miokneee:_ Okay, then, what WILL.

_DLMalfoy:_ Cannot, will not, say.

_miokneee:_ That girl?

_DLMalfoy:_ No, it's a lot more than that.

_DLMalfoy:_ This is weird.

_miokneee:_ What is weird.

_DLMalfoy:_ If this happens, and not the way I'm hoping it will, I'll become worse. I'll rip this world to pieces.

_miokneee:_ If WHAT happens, Jesus, you're so cryptic.

_DLMalfoy:_ Just don't even worry about it.

_DLMalfoy:_ I have things I have to worry about, now.

_miokneee:_ Don't we all.

_reviews are greatly appreciated._


	13. Author's Note

Just to remind you guys—

Just to remind you guys—

These aren't additions in a chronological order, most of the time. Each chapter is a separate conversation/part of the story. If you read it expecting it to go in certain order and make sense, you'll probably get really confused.

Some of the conversations fit together, but even if they do, I've posted them in different orders.

I've heard that the AIM conversations are kind of bugging people, so I'll try to make more of them into actual conversations, but they might not be so good at first.

If you want, I can even make the ones I've already done into conversations, and maybe just delete the AIM versions. I dunno.

Anyway, I appreciate the constructive criticism, I really do :)

And yeah, the stories do all go together, but not in the sense that they happen in order. They all revolve around the same situation, though.

Once again, thanks.

I should be updating soon, with the revisions and what-not.


	14. With a Little Help From My Friends

Hermione Granger was never one to go into a situation with no previous knowledge of what might ensue, but she found herself being drawn into something now that she didn't quite know how to stop, and that she didn't think she WANTED to stop. She had no realistic expectations of sudden and abrupt changes in opinion, and maybe that's why she was letting herself go so easily. But life was starting to take on a whole new turn for her, and for once, she didn't mind the utter lack of control. It started on a whim, as most things do, a chance conversation. Actually, a reply to a rhetorical statement.

"Well, hell," He had sighed, reading over a parchment he'd just received in the mail. "Shit happens. I guess you just have to smile, right?" He scanned it again, definitely not expecting Hermione to look up from her work and agree.

"Right," she said absentmindedly, glancing quickly at him and then back down to her work. Draco, surprised at her interjection, wandered over to the couch that dominated the common room between their bedrooms in the Head dormitory.

"That wasn't a question," he said, taking a seat across from her, "but thanks for your input anyway."

Hermione "hmm"d and flipped a page in her book. "What's up?" She didn't really expect and answer.

"Lucius died."

THAT caught her attention. "I'm…sorry?" She said, hesitating a little.

Draco let out a hollow laugh. "Don't be. Really."

Hermione bit her lip. "Well, then," she said, "I'm at least sorry for what he did."

He looked at her for a moment, considering the sincerity in her words. "Thanks."

They sat in companionable silence for a few moments, and then both spoke at the same time.

"Hey, I was wondering—"

"I wanted to know if—"

They stopped, looked at each other, and Hermione started giggling. "You go first," She said, smiling.

Draco looked unsure for a moment, as if he didn't quite know what to say, but quickly composed himself. "We've been living together for what, two months now?" He asked, waiting for her nod. "And we've been quite civil to each other, correct?" She nodded again. Draco scrunched up his face as though he was trying to find the right words, but finally just gave up and blurted out, "are we friends?"

Hermione was surprised that he would be the one to suggest it. "I was thinking the same thing," she admitted. "I was going to ask you, but I was afraid you would go all high and mighty on me, and we'd go back to square one."

Draco looked slightly ashamed.

"But, yeah, we're friends," Hermione affirmed quickly, seeing the look on his face. "I've actually found that you're quite tolerable when we're alone." She smiled at his expression. "Really, though, I think we've come a long way."

He thought about that for a moment, and then came back with "Well, I'm glad. You aren't bad yourself." He grinned as though he'd said something clever.

"Careful," Hermione warned, rolling her eyes, "Don't let your ego inflate again TOO quickly…"

_What would think if I sang out of tune; would you stand up and walk out on me? Lend me your ears and I'll sing you a song, and I'll try not to sing out of key. Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends,_

_I get high with a little help from my friends, Oh, I'm gonna try with a little help from my friends._

It had been about a week since Hermione and Draco had confirmed their friendship, and Hermione had an idea. As seventh years, they were allowed a weekend off during Halloween, unless, of course, they wished to stay for the feast. Hermione, though, had something else in mind. Her cousin in American had written to her recently, raving about a "haunted house" she'd been to that she guaranteed would scare any sane person out of their pants. Hermione wanted to test Draco's bravado, especially since he was so adamant about believing that muggles were completely incompetent and utterly incapable of producing anything worthwhile. She would show him…

"Where are we going?" Draco complained, as she led him over to the fireplace.

"You'll see. Now, you have to hold onto me." She grabbed a handful of powder from her pocket, and Draco had barely enough time to see that it was purple, and not the usual green, before he was dragged into the fireplace and they were spinning away. About two minutes later, they stepped out into a neatly furnished living room, and Draco saw that a tall girl with brown hair was racing toward Hermione.

"MYA!" She squealed, throwing herself at a grinning Hermione. "I'm so glad you could make it!" She turned to Draco and stuck out a hand. "Hi, I'm Jordin!" She shook his hand enthusiastically and when she was done, Draco turned to Hermione.

"We're in AMERICA?" He asked in disbelief, staring around the room as though expecting someone to pop out and tell him he was on camera and it was a joke. Hermione just giggled at him.

"Yeah, we're in America," she contended. "And I have a surprise for you." Draco started to ask what, but she cut him off. "No, you'll just have to see. Come on, we have to leave now if we're going to make it."

About half an hour later the three of them were standing in a long line of people waiting to get into something called "The House of Torment." Draco, who stubbornly insisted that he wasn't even the least bit anxious, was actually slightly unnerved by the creatures running around outside of the haunted house, which Jordin kept calling "creepers". Finally, they made it to the front of the line where they handed their ticket stubs to a boy who looked to be about eighteen, with a black Mohawk and lip, eyebrow, and ear piercings. He seemed to recognize Jordin.

"Hey babe, back again?" He asked, ripping their tickets in half and handing back the stub. "Who's that with you?" He motioned to Hermione who smiled, and Draco who was staring around with a look of apprehension on his pale features.

"This is my cousin Hermione and her friend Draco," Jordin explained. "They're from England, visiting for a few days." She turned to Hermione. "This is Justin."

"Pleased to meet you," Hermione said warmly, extending her hand to the boy. She motioned over her shoulder to where Draco was now staring wide-eyed at a "creeper" that looked like something out of his worst nightmares. "That one's Draco, but he seems a little pre-occupied. Not scared my arse," she muttered.

Justin laughed, glancing over at him. "Well, it's too late to turn back now," he joked. "Here you guys go, they're ready for you. No running, no flash photography, and if you don't touch them, they won't touch you. Have fun." He smiled and opened a door leading into pitch black darkness, where Hermione could hear screams. She turned to grab Draco, who had paled dramatically.

"C'mon mister 'I'm-not-scared-of-a-bloody-playhouse'," She said brightly, "in we go!"

She dragged him through the doorway where they stood in front of another door. Draco was reaching to open it when it slammed open with a BANG!, causing him to jump back into Hermione, who pushed him forward, laughing. They passed under the doorframe into a room filled with smoke, and every few seconds a strobe-light would flash. Draco inched forward cautiously, looking around for anything that was potentially harmful, but seeing nothing strutted ahead, totally oblivious to the smoky figure that had loomed up beside him. In fact, he was completely unaware until a chainsaw started up somewhere to his left, and then was brought down swiftly, inches in front of his face. He stood still for a moment or two, too shocked to move, and then bolted forward, searching for an exit. "WHAT THE BLOODY HELL WAS THAT?!" he yelled, frantically trying to located Hermione through the fog. He heard a bloodcurdling scream and froze, recognizing it as Hermione's, and then the unmistakable rev of the chainsaw, again. Feeling around to see where he was, his hand landed in something warm and sticky, which he brought closer to his face to scrutinize, but upon seeing that it was red, he immediately dropped his hand to his side, intensely focusing on finding Hermione. He had worked up the courage to walk a few feet when something grabbed him from behind. Draco was almost positive he was about to piss himself when he whirled around, but found himself looking into Hermione and Jordin's flushed faces.

"LET'S GO!" Hermione shrieked, "NEXT ROOM!" She grabbed his hand and pulled him through the fog, and even he wasn't quite sure how she knew where she was going, but obviously she knew something, because they were soon in a long hallway, draped with cobwebs and decorated with dusty old photographs. After double checking to make sure there were no doors or cubby holes where something could pop out, he continued down the hall warily, holding on to Jordin's shoulders, with Hermione behind him, holding on to his. Something dropped on his head and he flinched, looking up to find the most terrifying woman he had ever seen dangling above him.

"RUN!" He shouted, pushing Jordin forward into the blackness, which suddenly engulfed them. The hallway had turned into a tunnel, made from billowy black material that pressed against them on both sides. Draco was slightly reassured by Hermione's grip behind him, but still hurried forward, anxious to be out of the darkness. Jordin finally slipped through and he followed, turning around to say something to Hermione. As soon as he craned his neck, though, it was absolutely clear that Hermione had definitely not been behind him the whole time, as a pair of sunken eyes met his and a rotting face grinned back at him. He stumbled backwards, holding his hands out in front of him as if to ward off evil, and then turned and bolted.

The next half hour was full of many similar experiences, with things popping out, grabbing hold, and generally scaring the wits out of Draco, Hermione, and Jordin. By the time they exited, walking by a pair of laughing guides, they were all just glad to still be alive. As they climbed back into Jordin's car, Draco turned to Hermione.

"You win," he said weakly. Hermione looked at him questioningly. "If I hadn't seen that with my own eyes," he explained, "I never would have believed muggles were capable of something like that." He rested his head against the window. "And now," he wheezed, "I think I'm going to lie down and die of heart palpitations."

_What do I do when my love is away? (Does it worry you to be alone?) How do I feel by the end of the day, (Are you sad because you're on your own?) No, I get by with a little help from my friends, Mmm I get high with a little help from my friends, Mmm I'm gonna to try with a little help from my friends._

"DRACO!" Hermione complained, "Will you KINDLY remove your trash from my bag?" She glared at him as he stuffed crumpled wads of paper into the side pockets of her school bag. He managed to fit one more in, and looked up, grinning.

"I hate you." She said sullenly, wrenching the bag out of his grasp.

"But I wuv youu, cuppy cake!" He cooed, laughing madly at the expression on her face.

"One of these days, I SWEAR…" She muttered, pulling out the pieces parchment and chucking them at his face, and sighing in exasperation as he picked them up and began stuffing them back in her bag.

"I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!" She yelled, grabbing her back and swinging it through the air, thwacking him firmly on the side of his head.

"OW!" Draco whined, rubbing the sore spot. "Was that absolutely necessary?" He pouted, eyeing the bag warily.

Hermione just looked at him.

"Okay, fine." He narrowed his eyes. "…Arse."

Hermione burst out laughing at the expression on his face.

"IT'S NOT BLOODY FUNNY!" Draco complained, "That bloody HURT!" He pulled her bag closer to him to peer inside, eyes growing wide. "NO WONDER!" He screeched, "There must be 30 pounds of books in here!" He turned to face Hermione, who was in minor hysterics at this point. "YOU COULD HAVE KILLED ME!"

Hermione blinked innocently at him, having somewhat controlled her laughter. "Well, I DID warn you," she pointed out.

Draco glared in response. "Fine," he countered. "I hate you, too."

He turned around and crossed his arms over his chest, sticking his nose in the air. Hermione reached around him and grabbed his notebook from in front of him, scribbling something on the first blank page, and then placing it back down.

Draco looked down, curious. '_Hermione was here_'.He scoffed, and wrote something back, then tossed it behind him to where she was seated.

'_so was DRACO'_, Hermione read. She grabbed her quill and replied, '_well, yeah, it's your bloody notebook'_

Draco, who had turned around now, seized the offending piece of paper and wrote something else then tore it out and handed it back.

'_Ha,'_ it read, '_now who's to say who it belongs to!'_ Hermione looked up at the smug expression on his face and shook her head.

Draco turned back, obviously expecting something new to be written, but was instead hit between the eyes with yet another piece of crumpled paper.

"YOU WHORE!" He yelled in mock outrage, "HOW DARE YOU?!" He made to stand up, but failed miserably as Hermione had had the foresight to predict that that was exactly what he was going to do, and thus had charmed his shoelaces together, causing him to trip and fail, landing in a heap next to the legs of the coffee table in front of them. She could barely breathe for laughing so hard when he finally managed to untangle himself. She had barely composed herself when he shot a look of pure contempt towards her, sending her back off the deep end.

"This time," he growled, "I really AM going to kill you."

She patted him on the head, ignoring his words completely, and grabbing his cheeks. He was expecting her next words.

"But I wuv youuu, cuppy cake!"

_Do you need anybody? I need somebody to love. Could it be anybody? I want somebody to love._ _Would you believe in a love at first sight? Yes, I'm certain that it happens all the time. What do you see when you turn out the light? I can't tell you, but I know it's mine. Oh I get by with a little help from my friends, Mmm I get high with a little help from my friends, Oh I'm gonna try with a little help from my friends._


End file.
